


Mahpiohanzia

by xypeilo



Series: The Unimportant Yet Very Important Moments In Life [5]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6325318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xypeilo/pseuds/xypeilo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Wade has a hard time letting Peter get too close because of how he looks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another one of those self-accepting fics that I love writing so much.
> 
> A lot of ya'll subscribed to me so I'm just gonna assume you guys are in it for the Spideypool fics more so than the other stuff I've written--unless someone declares otherwise, then I will make it a note to definitely pick up the pace on the others. 
> 
> abuse my inbox/follow: http://xypeilo.tumblr.com/

**Mahpiohanzia**

_(n.) the disappointment of being unable to fly, unable to stretch out your arms and vault into the air, having finally shrugged off the ballast of your own weight and ignited the fuel tank of unfulfilled desires you’ve been storing up since before you were born._  

* * *

 Despite the state of annoyance he displayed whenever Wade was around, Peter grew fond of him even more the next day. Wade was more than just a half-hearted mercenary--he was a complete lovable goofball. He always looked at the brighter side of situations, especially when he's severally wounded--like that one time when half his head was blown off and he was still mumbling how it could be worse. The Avengers were never open enough to see passed his odd behavior and have always shunned him--especially when it was impossible for him to die, which definitely gave them the idea that he had ulterior motives. But that didn't concern Peter at all because he knew who Wade truly was. Wade just…wanted to be treated like any other person.

It didn't take long for them to get even closer and eventually feel something for each other after a long period of being by each other's side. Wade would call him 'Petey' and 'baby boy' wherever he went and sometimes would joke about taking him out on a date--but not once had Wade made a move. Peter knew Wade wanted something more than just being partners, but something was holding him back though he never ceased from the constant flirting.

Peter decided to get to the bottom of it one day when Wade invited him over to his house for dinner--which was Taco Bell. They were both sitting next to each other from an odd distance on the couch, watching corny horror movies on Netflix. But Peter was hardly paying attention because he was beginning to have second thoughts--maybe Wade didn't swing that way? Maybe Peter was just over thinking it and it was nothing more than mere bromance. No--there had been too many obvious hints. They were close, for goodness sake--close enough to raise some eyebrows. But…the more Peter thought about it, he realized Wade never even showed him his face during the entire year they've known each other. Just what sort of relationship was this? Peter was dressed as Peter Parker, and the merc was still in his Deadpool attire.

"Hey Wade?" Peter grabbed the remote and turned the volume down a couple of notches on some scene of a girl screaming bloody murder while being chased around the house.

"What's up?" Wade chirped, too focused on the screen. He flinched at a cheap jump-scare, promptly shoving a large bite of his taco into his mouth. His mask was rolled up to his nose, but Peter could barely make out his skin in the dark room. 

Peter bit his bottom lip. "I just noticed you never showed me your face. How come?" 

Wade let a few pulses of silence pass before he replied in a darker tone. "You don't know?" 

"Know what?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

Wade took the last bite of his taco and crumpled up the wrapper into a ball. He tossed it behind him and sighed as he rolled down his mask. " _Everyone_ knows about it."

"Knows _what_?" Peter persisted.

"Look, I have my reasons for wearing my mask, okay? Can we drop it now?" Wade's voice was stern and just a tad hostile, causing Peter to flinch. Clearly he touched a sensitive topic.

"Is that why you won't ask me out? You know I wouldn't care about your appearance."

The merc huffed and turned off the t.v. "Look, Peter--if you saw my face, you wouldn't be saying that."

"But, Wade," Peter turned his entire body to face him. Was that really it? Was Wade concerned about Peter not liking how he looked? "we've been close for so long. Why would you lead me on and then not--"

"Enough Peter. Look, I think you should go home. Thanks for coming." Wade stood up and headed for the kitchen, but Peter ran up to him and grabbed his shoulder, turning him around to face him.

"Wade. I like you. I-I love who you are, I love how you make me feel whenever I see you. I--"

"Peter, stop--"

Peter grabbed both his shoulders and squeezed them softly, almost smiling as the memories of being with Wade flooded his head. "You're seriously the best person I've ever met, Wade. Please, if you could just--" Peter's hands moved up to the bottom of Wade's mask but the merc abruptly grabbed them and roughly tossed them to the side.

" _Parker,_ I said _enough. You wouldn't understand!_ " Peter flinched at each word as Wade barked them, towering over him and leading him to the front door. " _Now get out and don't come back ever again._ "

Peter lost his footing and landed on his ass while keeping his eyes glued to Wade. He never saw this side of Wade before--he was like a whole new person. Wade was clearly broken inside and Peter wanted to get up and comfort him, but he was obviously not welcomed anymore. With watery eyes, Peter stumbled back up and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him.

 

Peter thought about using his webs to move a little faster, and even though his legs felt numb he persisted on walking. But with every step, he found it harder and harder to breathe as he began to panic, breaking into a quiet sob as he walked with an irregular pace. He didn't know what to feel or think--he just wanted to get home. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy~

**[First of all, you're an asshole.]**

**(Totally agree with Whitey up there, man. Don't you think you took that just a little too far?)**

"Hey, he's the one that tried to take off the mask. _Nobody_ touches the mask." Wade paced the living room back and forth, listening to what he was saying--he really was an asshole. He admitted what he said was a bit harsh--but it was just a reflex. He didn't mean it.

**(Yeah, well, reflex or not, you still hurt Peter.)**

**[Peter was right--you've been leading him on. You can't just do that to him and not show him your face. What kind of relationship is that?]**

Wade crossed his arms defensively. "Maybe I'm just not ready for this. You guys can't get mad at me for that."

**[So you're just going to run away again? Not to be a dick or anything, but it's about time you stopped soaking in self-pity, Wade. People are going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day they wouldn't matter.]**

The merc dropped his arms and looked down. "It'd matter to _me_ if Peter walked away just like everyone else…"

**(Peter isn't like that and you know it.)**

Wade flopped onto the couch and let out a frustrated sigh. He can either be miserable his entire life or do something about his problem. The damn boxes were right--it's about time he moved on. Nothing was gonna change how he looked anyway. No…after seeing Peter's face, it was probably too late to apologize and bring him back. He'd never seen Peter so terrified in his life. Maybe…maybe it was best Wade just gave him some space.

 

**• One Week Later •**

 

Wade had the busiest thursday in his entire life. Either Peter was sleeping in or just real sloppy, the mercenary probably did more than half of his job for him. Wade stopped an attempted rape, three robberies, countless pickpockets, and a bunch of shoplifters. By noon, Peter was still nowhere to be found.

**(Maybe he's on the other side of the city?)**

**[Peter does rounds, we would've seen him at least _once_.]**

"We'll just keep helping out until he shows up." Wade said, but he couldn't help but feel like there was something odd about the situation. But maybe the Avengers called for Peter--who knows. Wade was probably just overanalyzing the situation. While he was walking around the city looking for troublemakers, he accidentally bumped into someone, making them drop their coffee.

"Oh, my bad." Wade said.

The woman waved him off as she pick up her cup. "No no, it's my fault--wait. You're Deadpool."

"No, I'm obviously the Miraculous Ladybug." the merc quipped, but the woman ignored the comment.

"You know Spider-Man, right?" It was more of a statement than a question. She didn't even wait for Wade to respond. "And everyone knows that Spider-Man and Peter Parker are close! Look, Parker hasn't been showing up at the Bugle this past week and our boss is seriously threatening to fire him. Can you tell Spider-Man to tell Peter that if we don't hear from him soon, he's done?"

"Wait a second, lady--he could be with the Avengers for all we know."

"Parker usually calls about leaving with the Avengers. He has his own special pass. That man is either in danger or playing hooky. Look, I gotta go--just please pass the word to Spider-Man, okay?"

The woman ran off, leaving Wade to ponder to himself. "So…Peter isn't here at all?"

**(What if Peter got kidnapped?! Or what if you scared him so much he moved out of the country?!)**

**[Before we jump to conclusions, we should take this step by step--He's probably at home.]**

"What makes you think Peter is home of all places?"

**[He's a broke college student barely scraping by with a part time job at the Bugle--he's too poor to be anywhere else.]**

**(I bet you $20 you're wrong.)**

**[Deal.]**

Wade tossed his hands in the air in surrender and started walking. "Alright, fine. We'll stop by his house and if he's not there, I'm calling the Avengers because somehow they know _everything_."

 

•

 

Wade knocked on the front door, but there was no answer. He knocked again, harder this time--but still no answer.

**(I say we kick the door down.)**

"Aunt May's ghost would gut me in my sleep. I'm not doing that."

**[We don't have time to squander, just kick the damn door.]**

Wade rolled his eyes and did as he was told. It swung open, revealing an eerie vacancy; all the lights were off and there was no sign of Peter. Wade popped open his holster and took his gun out as he inched his way inside slowly. There was nothing suspicious in the kitchen or the living room, so he carefully moved upstairs. There had to be _some_ clues in Peter's room.

When he got to Peter's door, he noticed it was cracked open, but the lights were off too. Carefully with one hand, he pushed it while aiming his pistol at whatever might be awaiting. The door whispered faintly as it swung open, and Wade gripped his pistol with both hands--until he saw Peter.

The brunet was bundled up in bed, snoring softly. Wade signed in relief as he relaxed his posture and put the gun back in its holster.

**[I think I deserve my $20.]**

The merc walked up to Peter and squatted by his head so he can look at him closely. He smiled to himself--he loved watching Peter sleep. He took off a glove to run his fingers through his hair--Wade loved doing that whenever Peter slept on his lap. The brunet looked so peaceful, he didn't want to wake him up…

Wade's smile dropped when he suddenly noticed how oddly swollen Peter's eyes were, and how they were a tad red from irritation.

_Did he get stung by a bee?_

**[Wade, Peter has been obviously crying. Can't you see that?]**

Wade instantly grabbed Peter's shoulder and shook him gently. "Peter. Hey--Wake up."

Peter groaned and turned around, burying himself deeper into the blanket. Wade got up and walked to the other side of the bed, shaking him again until Peter's eyes slowly opened which looked even worse. The second the brunet registered in his head that Wade was there, he averted his eyes.

"Hey." Wade said lightly as the brunet sat up and yawned. "The City of Townsville is under attack."

"Sorry to have worried you," Peter mumbled glumly, reaching for his Spider-Man outfit on the floor. "I'll get to work right away."

Wade leaned on one foot and crossed his arms. "Peter."

**(Be nice to him Wade. He doesn't look so good at all.)**

**[Yeah, seriously--take it easy.]**

"I-I'll be ready in just a second…you can wait outside." The speed Peter was moving was equivalent to a sloth's. It looked like he was gonna cry, with the way he furrowed his brows.

Wade sat down next to him and waited for the brunet to make eye contact, but he didn't. "Peter…hey, talk to me." He let's a moment of silence pass before Peter dropped his outfit, and suddenly wrapped his arms around Wade's neck.

"I-I didn't m-mean to make you angry," Peter stuttered and hiccuped as he tried to rush the words. "I-I didn't mean t-to offend you. You don't have to show me your f-face at all. Can we just go back to the way h-how things use to be? P-Please?"

Wade wrapped his arms around Peter and held him tightly. Who knew the courageous Spider-Man could be so sensitive? He sighed softly into his shoulder and waited for Peter to finish crying it out. He cared about Peter more than anything--of course he wanted to ask him out. But Wade had been so caught up with his insecurities he automatically snapped. It was about time Wade gave someone a chance.

With small hesitation, the merc used one hand to grab his mask from behind and pull it off. He then grabbed Peter's shoulders and gently pushed him away so he can see Wade's face. With wide eyes, the brunet scanned his entire face. He was absolutely speechless, and Wade couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing. Before he could say anything, Peter cupped his face and kissed him softly on the lips. They stayed there like that for long moment as Peter gently caressed his scarred cheeks with his thumbs, then ran his hands to the nape of his neck.

"You're beautiful." Peter whispered, pressing his forehead against Wade's. The merc's heart skipped a beat. No one ever called him beautiful. Whenever he made a comment about himself of how ugly he was, people would usually laugh with him and agree. But Peter? Peter Parker thought otherwise? _How? Why?!_

"You and I both know I look like one of Trump's ass cheeks."

Peter grabbed his face again and looked him in the eyes seriously. "Wade Wilson, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met and _I love you_."

Wade flinched at the foreign comment and pulled away, suddenly getting up. This kind of kindness had to be a complete joke. Nobody could love Wade--no one could accept the kind of person he was. He wasn't beautiful--beautiful is what normal people looked like. Wade was a mistake. A lab rat. _Wade was not beautiful._ "I-I'm sorry, I think I should go."

Peter grabbed for his bare hand, stroking the rugged skin tenderly. "Please don't leave me." Peter whispered in a broken voice. "I know I'll never understand what you went through, but I still want to be by your side. I'm not repulsed by your appearance at all--you're still Wade Wilson in my eyes. Please, Wade--please don't go."

**[He's _literally_ trying for you. If you want to move on, here's your chance to accept Peter in your life.]**

Wade sat back down with Peter still holding his hands. He looked at the brunet, who was still begging with his gaze for Wade to stay. The merc sighed and softened his gaze. "I'm sorry I snapped at you last time. There's no excuse for that--I just…I've been insecure about myself since I was a kid. Then when this happened," Wade gestured at his face. "I got even worse. I like you Peter Parker. No, I take that back. I _love_ you too. Whenever I was around you, you made me feel human again. And when you asked me to show you my face, I was scared I'd lose you. I thought you'd run away or shun me like the rest of the Avengers. So, thank you for not giving up on me."

Peter wrapped his arms around his neck again and they both cried in each other's arms. Peter was the first person to stay in his life, and there was no way in hell he was going to lose him too.

 

This was a good step forward.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final summation: You're beautiful no matter what.


End file.
